No one who obsessively loves gaming as much as we did is going to choose complete abstinence from gaming as a way of life if they think there is any chance whatsoever of gaming in moderation. If we want to escape the vicious downward spiral of compulsive bingeing, we have to face the facts. The idea that we have any chance at a happy life that includes gaming has to be smashed to pieces. We face and accept the hard truth of our consistent failures to stick to limits.

Between us all, we have tried every moderation strategy. Some of us tried limiting gaming to certain times of day or certain days of the week. We tried keeping it to a certain number of games or hours. We swore we wouldn’t game until the day’s goals were accomplished. We tried to quit all solo gaming and only play with friends, and we also tried to quit all online multiplayer games, only playing alone. We set timers. We uninstalled the most problematic games or swore off entire genres. We sold off gaming systems. In frustration some of us smashed equipment or got ourselves banned from games. We tried quitting completely for a while and easing back into it. We tried everything.

Sometimes we had temporary success but in all cases it was just a matter of time before the hours spent gaming crept back up, even when sticking to simple, “non-addictive” games. Any amount of any type of video game fed our obsession. We’d find ourselves buying back the systems we sold or reinstalling the games we had sworn off. Sometimes we felt a compulsion to make up for lost time and ended up gaming more than we had in the first place.

Reviewing these past attempts at control and honestly facing the facts is vital if we want to avoid falling back into those old traps. Writing down this history and telling it to a sponsor or another friend in recovery helps us fully digest and accept reality. It is hard to stay in denial when we see this inventory in front of our own faces in black and white. Accepting that moderation is no longer an option allows us to fully accept our need for complete abstinence and the solutions that support it.