An addiction disorder does not come from being lazy, weak, immoral, or stupid. It is an illness, not a failure of morals or character. Addiction arises in people who typically have had some combination of chronic stress, emotional pain, social dysfunction, past trauma, poor coping skills, and a negative self image. We are not bad people looking to get good; we are sick people needing to get well.

On first hearing compulsive gaming called an illness or disorder or “disease,” people may scoff. For non-addicted gamers whose excessive game time causes problems in their lives, gaming may simply be a hobby or idle pastime. But for those of us who are obsessive, compulsive, and out of control, who try to set limits but repeatedly break them, who continue to grind through games long after it has become tedious and frustrating, and who suffer social isolation, broken relationships, sleep deprivation, health problems, or depression, we are in the grips of a powerful mental condition. If treated, the symptoms will subside. When the condition is untreated, the symptoms flare up and progressively worsen.

Our repetitive compulsive behavior and thinking seem to have dug deep ruts in the brain. Those massively reinforced neural pathways will weaken with disuse, but they don’t vanish. Any amount of gaming will bring them back to life, even after years of abstinence.

We did not choose this illness, any more than someone with a physical disease chose theirs. As with any illness, the best course of action is to learn about it, fully accept the reality, explore treatments, and do the things that have worked well for other sufferers. With this perspective, we can stop beating ourselves up about it and learn to accept and be gentle with ourselves. We can heal and grow into the people we were meant to be.