Obsession and Compulsion An obsession with video gaming is frequently thinking about the games we played, the next time we’ll be able to play, the big wins and terrible losses. Obsession plagued us day and night, even when doing our best to be present with someone or accomplish something important. A compulsion to game is the overwhelming feeling of needing to play one more game or one more hour. It looks like the inability to shut off the game. Whatever limit we had in mind when starting the game is lost or forgotten. We would grind hour after hour, even [...]

Denial An enormous obstacle to recovery is denial. One of the biggest gifts of early recovery is hearing the honesty and clear thinking of people who have overcome denial. They have already connected the dots between their compulsive gaming and the various problems in their lives. When we hear such honesty and relate to the problems shared, suddenly we too are enabled to make the connection between those problems and our gaming. In this way we are able to break down the wall of denial one brick at a time. We can listen to others’ stories, do our best to identify [...]

Getting Honest When we first sought help in GAA, we had some awareness of problems connected to our gaming that motivated us to try to change. But mostly we thought our problems were due to circumstances, personal faults, other people, or bad luck. We readily blamed anything but the video gaming.As we listened to the stories of other members, we found ourselves relating as they described a whole host of problems connected to their gaming behavior to which we could relate but somehow had not recognized as having anything to do with gaming. We heard that problems like skipping out on [...]

Moderation No one who obsessively loves gaming as much as we did is going to choose complete abstinence from gaming as a way of life if they think there is any chance whatsoever of gaming in moderation. If we want to escape the vicious downward spiral of compulsive bingeing, we have to face the facts. The idea that we have any chance at a happy life that includes gaming has to be smashed to pieces. We face and accept the hard truth of our consistent failures to stick to limits. Between us all, we have tried every moderation strategy. Some [...]

Illness or Disease Concept An addiction disorder does not come from being lazy, weak, immoral, or stupid. It is an illness, not a failure of morals or character. Addiction arises in people who typically have had some combination of chronic stress, emotional pain, social dysfunction, past trauma, poor coping skills, and a negative self image. We are not bad people looking to get good; we are sick people needing to get well. On first hearing compulsive gaming called an illness or disorder or “disease,” people may scoff. For non-addicted gamers whose excessive game time causes problems in their lives, [...]

Substitutes It is common for addicts to have more than one addiction. It is also common to rely on some unhealthy substitute behaviors. It is sometimes difficult to tell apart substitutes from addictions. With time and a sponsor’s guidance, we can take stock of the situation, identify substitute behaviors, and check if any of them is actually a second addiction. Substitutes are mindless, repetitive behaviors that we find ourselves often doing while adjusting to game-free living, things like numbing out in front of the TV or computer or with puzzles or junk food, or seeking excitement or distraction in [...]